Get inside the turn lane idiot!


I’ve tackled the issue of people taking days to merge or change into another lane. Now you’d think even though they may take days to complete the lane change they would complete it eventually. Well, you’re wrong because I’ve seen people get into the suicide lane half-way. Yes, they’ll have half their vehicle in the travel lane while stopped to make a left in the center turn lane.

One afternoon I was heading back to work after lunch. I was behind a Jeep Liberty obviously being driven by a female on her cell phone. I should have seen the signs that this driver was a few cans short of a six pack since there were “cutesy” stickers on the hatch and a non-functioning taillight and some light body damage. Well, we’re doing 45 MPH, which is already below the speed limit of the highway and I see her drifting slightly to the center turn lane. I’ve seen the RMS Queen Mary make a U-Turn faster than this girl getting into the turn lane!

So I assume (which is a bad assumption) that she is going to complete the move. I’m already about a few car lengths behind her and I prepare to speed up since the light ahead was a stale green. I’m about one car length behind her and she comes to a dead stop, half way in my lane. Holy fkn hell I need to avoid her! I crank the wheel to the right (thank goodness there wasn’t any traffic in the right-hand lane) and my tires start squealing like a stuck pig. I crank the wheel to the left to avoid flying into a ditch. I’m really not afraid of the car spinning out as it’s front-wheel-drive, but I am deathly scared that it’s going to continue in a straight path due to it being a front-heavy hunk of steel. Luckily I felt the car going back to the left so I get on the gas and control the swerving to get the car straight again. OMG, the adrenaline rush!

I look back in my mirror and that birch was still there stopped in the middle of the travel lane. A commercial van almost rams her in the ass. I wished I could have gave her a piece of my mind, but I was already leaving and I needed to get back to work.


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