If Linux was a car

Really? It still runs with Windows.

Linux enthusiasts are scary

Shameless cross-post from my programming blog: http://inphamousdevelopment.wordpress.com

(Recursion!!!!)

If Linux was a car, you’d have to build it from scratch just to go to the store to buy some milk. You’d start by compiling an engine and put it on a chassis. That’s fine and dandy and it’ll get you where you need to guy, but it sure is a pain in the ass to turn with a socket wrench on the rack and pinion. So let’s put in a steering column and steering wheel.

It’s not very comfortable so let’s add some seats. Now you realize there are different flavors of seats. Bench, bucket, velour, cloth, leather, etc. Bench sounds nice which is great for cuddling with a significant other! Oh wait, you use Linux. Scratch that, let’s go with buckets for the sportier feel.

Great, but it’s not that great looking. It needs a body. Those damn Apple cars look so sleek and sexy with their glossy exterior, but we all know you can’t modify them. Fk the sheeple and their pretty cars. Those Windows cars actually look pretty good now unlike a few years ago when the Fisher Price Cozy Coup called them out on plagiarism. What can I do with the Linux car? Well, there’s not much to choose from out of the box. Fkr looks cartoony. Meh, fk it, let’s roll.

It drives just as well as the Apple car because they’re almost identical under the hood. You’re feeling pretty smug because you built your own car for free. Well, let’s keep adding mods. You want lib-vtec-honda, but it won’t work in your car. You hack it to work instead. You’re somewhat successful, but you needed another obscure library to get it to work: lib-jdm-bolts. Ok, it works fine, but not perfect.

Oh no, the radio stopped working! Ok, don’t panic, just use another antenna. Crap, it’s not compatible with Linux and you just paid out the butt for it. To the Googles! So many people have the same issue, but with different hardware. WTF?! Grrrr! Ok, this guy says to download ndis-radio-wifi-2.6.1 and compile it for my specific car. Ok. Fk! I need another obscure library: lib-am-fm-cassette. Don’t I already have that?! Jebus H. Chrysler this is retarded.

Wheee, got the radio working. Let’s roll. Going to Taco Bell for some chalupas and Baja Blast. Oh muffin fudger, it doesn’t have a fkn cupholder. Google it. Cupholders aren’t available to Linux due to it being proprietary technology developed by Adobe?! GD it to hell! You end up burning the car and buying a Windows car.

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